Monks-on-mobiles and How-many-people-can-you-fit-on-a-bus

I have just sat down to type and am questioning the wisdom of my "great idea" to help all future Internet users at my guesthouse by replacing missing keyboard letters with silver nail polish. It ain't drying very well and quite frankly looks well silly. However the Sri Lankans are a laid back lot so hopefully they won't give a toss. I have wound my way via 6 hours bus travel to the hill country and I'm staying in picturesque Ella. Finally breaking away from the beach was hard but locals help you all the way from telling you which bus to catch to where the rest stop happens for cold drinks and a fragrant squat toilet. I wondered if I had built up good enough arm muscles from constant paddling as I arrived and the bus ticket man was hauling my bag out. "Help me madam!" he pleaded as it wouldn't come out of the underneath locker. I told myself it was my shoes sticking out rather than the ridiculous weight caused partly by a pair of fire poi, unecesary pair of jeans and an umbrella to beat the occasional pre monsoon downpour. I decided to use mind over matter. The bus was a social affair with people crammed up the aisle and out the door. Wedged between a school teacher and rampant mobile phone user with questionable hand placement I swerved along, sweating merrily on the vinyl seats and chugging water when it meant I wouldn't bash my teeth out from the seat in front due to  the violent braking. I kept thinking it was dogs or pedestrians. Bizarrely  it appeared to be......the designated stops. Everything is pretty slow here except the buses which run to a rigourous schedule which could shame Alan Sugar. When all are on, or partly on, the cry goes up "hari-hari!!" in a shrill crescendo (OK!) and we career off again. The ticket man then proudly writes his little slips and organises the money held in a big wad in his hand. At one point a monk alights and two people are kicked out of their seats to make way. And yes monks here do use mobile phones. We pass temples on the way and the men put their hands together and even the young lads scoop off their baseball caps. People standing lean very close to those seated, even dumping bags in their laps without much ado as this appears to be accepted practice. The local drunkard or slightly mad man rattles away at the back as heads turn and the men giggle......The teacher shares his mango with me and asks what he can do to improve his English. I suggest listening to the World Service and wonder if this is c**p advice........